Being a Gypsy

I'm sitting in my room on the floor coz I still don't have a bed... It's actually weird, but lately I can see that my happiness and my comfi isn't important to me at all, but I would give a lot to others if I know those things make them happy... It's crazy weather right know, birds are singing but it's going to be storm soon, I can hear thunders...and I love it!
After a very surprisingly exam on Friday and great weekend in Krakow with Nat I have many thoughts in my mind...Last weeks were pretty tough to me, and before talk with my prof and then Nat, I felt a bit down. It's been a bit over 5 months since my very best grandma passed away and I was thinking about her a lot. I miss her every day, but at days like those 'very tough days' I am missing her as hell... She was the strongest women I have ever knew. You could love her or hate her, but never being neutral. She sucrificed A LOT for her love - my grandpa, and for her children. She was the fighter. I remember her last night like it was yesterday. I remember her inert body laying on the floor, the doctor unhopeful eyes and my feelings...I had always a very strong connetion with her, I didin't need to hear ' sorry, grandma is dead' coz I knew it before...
The second sad thing is that my grandpa is very sick and it is very difficult to visiting him and stay ok... to not cry. It's pretty hard look at someone's you love death. And it's pretty hard put on your face mask called 'I am the strongest, no matter what - I will surrvive' just becouse you know people expect it from you and they need you. But this is a time when you can really figure out what is important to you and I guess sometimes we all need something that will push us to change the situation we are stuck in.
The last thing that made me a bit sad and confused last time is 'something inside me that turning back over and over again' and I can't help myself. I would like pack my suitcase and go far, far away but I know I can't. And from previous experience - I know it doesn't help. You can't go away from your feelings, it would be too easy...and I am not the person who run away when some problems came - at least - not anymore.

Anyway I have to say I AM THE LUCKY ONE. Always when I feel down I meet the person who helping me. And on Friday, when I had a very tough exam, very bad night behind me and I was pretty scared and felt like a shit - my prof told me a few important things that totally change my way of thinking. And there is nothing better than a good prof who believe in you, not only as a his pupil, but also as a person.

And then the weekend with Nat. She is one of the best person I have ever met, and probably the nicest on earth! Since I miss traveling so much, I was very happy I could leave my home town for a while and visited Krakow - the most beautiful and charming city in Poland. After a very long talk with Nat about life, love, happiness, our dreams and worries, plans and hopes I understood how lucky am I. I am happy with who I am and this is very important to me. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I don't have to act 'crazy' (stupid) every night to be sure I am a cool girl - becouse I simply know that and don't need confirm it in that way. And even I can't run away from things that make me sad, I understand - 'this is the life'. I think my granma would be proud of me right now. She always said I am a gypsy - and I am pretty sure she was right. I probably got it from her. I can't live in one place. I love knowing new people and discovering new places. I am open and broad minded and always curious about new things. I love travel more than anything else. Sometimes it scares me coz I am not sure if I would be able to have a normal family... But I shouldn't wonder about it too much! There is still so many places to visit, so many people to meet, so many pic to take and emotions to catch and so many stories to hear...and this is what I love :-) And this is what keep me going every day with a smile on my face!:) And of course my family and friends - it's amazing that some people come to my country just becouse they know me and they want to see Poland and how people live here. I am pretty sure there is nothing more I could dream about!

'Cause I'm a gypsy are you coming with me?
I might steal your clothes and wear them if they fit me
Never made agreements just like a gypsy
And I won't back down 'cause life's already bit me
And I won't cry I'm too young to die if you're gonna quit me
'Cause I'm gypsy

...

I haven't slept for more than 30 hours... but I am feeling ok. Right now I just can't sleep. My neighbour's dog barks all the time and it doesn't help.. .anyway - my mind is too busy for sleep... I went for the barbecue party yesterday to the girl I met long time ago in Business School. It wasn't a big party, just a few people, and it was nice...but I've realized something and it made me a bit sad..

...I made a mistake some time ago...
...you don't appreciate something until you lose it...
... if you find something/someone/ unique in your life - be happy and try to keep it as long as possible...

and now I am going to do something productive! :-)

late b-day beers and Diverse Downhill Contest:-) oh, I am busy girl!

It's windy and cloudy now, and it's going to be storm very soon I think...so it's good time to tell you about my lovely weekend! On Saturday my very best polish friend visited me. As we both were very busy earlier, I couldn't see her at my b-day. But fortunately we met at the weekend and I got very nice gift - wine, chocolate and a green frog that suppose to become my 'prince' when I kiss her...should I try? We drunk beers out, the weather was great and I finally could talk with someone who think about world and life the way I do... And on Sunday I went with my bro to Wisła - nice polish town, where we watched the Downhill mountain bike racing - was great! I'm truly in love with this sport and can't wait when my bro get his supper dupper brand new bike! And I realized how much I miss my "norwegian sykkel's adventures" ... But now it's time to study hard and in 2 weeks Nat is comming and we are going to hit the Krakow's Clubs! And one more thing - I got invitation for a home party next weekend, of course I said 'yes, I will be there' but I'm not sure if it's good idea...anyway, we will see:-)

Living in my home town after a few years abround is pretty hard. I don't like the way polish people think, and sometimes I do not like the way they act. Poland is a lovely and charming country and people are nice but... this is an ilussion that you can see when you are the visitor, when you live here - you have a different opinion. The only positive think that keep me going nowedays is summer break and hope I will go abroud... I need this feeling when you know you are FREE.. becouse, I'm afraid I'm lying myself.

And I don't have a bed in my room so I have to sleep on the floor! I don't have even a mattress! But I don't give a shit, who cares about stuff like BED?! haha

what a day! what a day!

wohooo!

It's been a day from "Dzień Świra" (polish real genius movie), totally crazy... so, I had a test from german and I translated everything...into NORWEGIAN! Since I study norwegian there is "no room in my brain" for german haha...yeah, but it's not funny. When I realized I have no clue how to do it in german I just stopped doing anything and of course my professor asked what is wrong with me (I was pretty good with german before). I said I can't do it in german but I can do it in norwegian if she wish :-) She was pretty intrerested where and how I get 'such an exotic language' and so on...
Later on I had an exam from computer technology and I just hate technology... I guess there is no person in this world who knows less about computers, TV's or phones than me!

And some other shit happened but I just decided let it go... and day isn't over yet!

Anyway I don't give a shit and right now I'm drinking 'so very tasty' beer and watching "The Simpsons" - I LOVE THEM!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dbDJzDV1CM check this out!

ah...and I'm in mood to dance lately! I miss my super dupper fancy Oslo Club's and and the best ever restaurant by the sea... I miss the feeling when you know you look good...I miss high heels, sexy dresses and Scandi boys hahaha... but I will go for it... soon!

I don't give a shit

I'm turning 26 today...I think this means I have to go and get a real job now. I think this means I should fold and iron my clothes after they come out of the dryer. Probably I should change stuff in my wardrobe and buy some 'adult' clothes as my mum says. By all rights, I should be married by now and thinking about what to name the kids I haven't conceived as yet. Hmmm. Something Bohemian. Something clever. Something original. But not too obscure so as to make his/ her life hell in middle school. So maybe - Sunniva or Tarja for a girl but for a boy? Don't know... hm, maybe Dag or Arjan? Or maybe just a lovely polish 'Jaś' and 'Małgosia'?
No. I am not quite there yet. The laundry is warm and welcoming when you wear it straight out of the dryer and I love my clothes and the fact I wear sneakers every day...

But I guess I should have numerous questions running through my mind like what will happen to me? What is expected of me? What should I already be doing? Some people think the answer is important becouse 'You're not getting any yonger and any prettier, be serious!'

But you know what? I don't give a shit. I'm still taking things one day at a time. I am eagerly waiting to face the surprises which life has for me this year. I don't feel 26. It's just a number. And the fact that I am that old doesn't make me have palpitations. I feel good! :-)

"the most tragic event of the country's post-war history"

'Polish President Lech Kaczynski was killed early Saturday along with his wife, several top military officials, and the head of the national bank when their plane crashed at a western Russian airport, there are no survivers.'

'97 people were aboard the government plane, including 88 members of a Polish delegation en route to commemorate Poles killed in mass murders in the town of Katyn under orders from Soviet leader Josef Stalin in 1940.'

You never know what's going to happen from one moment to the next... so keep a moment, be happy you are ALIVE, and do your best right here right now! Love and make people happy, smile and give them as much positive energy as you can, inspire them and help when they need... but let them live their own life...and remember - every moment may be the last one.

Juliet :-)

Julia - my sister's daughter - most wonderful baby ever! Every time I see her I smile:) She gives me so much positive energy, love and happiness. One of the reasons why I am happy living in Poland again:-)